Changing Hermione
by PassionFlower
Summary: After a late night conversation Hermione is forced to change herself and her lifestyle to fit that of Parvati and Lavender's. Will she be able to survive till the end-of-the-week sleepover? [Complete]
1. The Reason

"What do you get if you add eye of newt with dragon's heath?" murmured Hermione.

She was sat in the Gryffindor common room at one of the small desks to the side of the cosy room. Her two best friends, Ron and Harry, were seated by the roaring fire playing a game of chess.

"Umm…" she muttered pouring over her Potions books. Suddenly two shadows fell over her table. She looked up.

"Hermione…" said Parvati sweetly.

"Will you come with us a moment?" asked Lavender.

"But my essay, I need to finish it and…" But before she could finish, the two girls had dragged her off to their dormitory.

"Sit," ordered Parvati, pointing to Hermione's bed.

"What do you want?" Hermione asked.

The two looked at each other and smirked.

"Well Hermione. We realised today that we have been living in the same dormitory for 6 years and we have yet to spend some quality girlie time with you…" began Parvati.

"That's cause I've never wanted to spend "quality girlie time" with you." Replied Hermione, rolling her eyes.

Lavender sighed, "Whatever. We, like many others, think you are spending too much time in the company of boys. So in your honour, on Saturday night this room is playing host to our first Hogwarts sleepover!"

"What!" yelped Hermione; "As if you could get away with that! Besides, I _like _being with Harry and Ron. So now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be going-"

Parvati held her down. "I don't think so. Look Hermione, we just want to get to know you. You're always with the boys, and we can't really talk to you. Besides, it's not natural."

"Why isn't it? So what if I do spend all my time with Harry and Ron? I find boys easier to talk to."

"Well we'll change that." Said Lavender, linking arms with Hermione.

"Yep," said Parvati taking her other arm.

Hermione frowned and tried to wriggle away, but the two girls had a surprisingly strong grip on her.

"Look, we have a proposition for you. You have to spend the rest of the week with us. No contact with Harry or Ron whatsoever! So you can see what you've been missing."

"Well, I don't really think I've missed that much…Besides, I can't."

"I think she's scared." Said Parvati to Lavender. "She's frightened that this will be the one thing she can't do."

Hermione glared. "Fine. I'll do it, a whole week without talking to Harry and Ron. Easy."

"And you have to hang around with us."

"- Join in our conversations."

"- Come shopping with us."

" - And come to our sleepover on Saturday."

After shaking hands the two girls left the room leaving Hermione by herself.

_Oh no, _she thought with a groan, _what have I got myself into?_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

BEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP.

Groaning, Hermione slammed her hand onto her alarm clock. It felt like the middle of the night. As much as she loved school, she hated how early it started.

"Uurrghh," she moaned, rubbing her eyes. Shrugging off the feeling of dread in her stomach, she stood up and walked to the shower.

"Hey 'Mione," said Parvati who was stood brushing her teeth.

Lavender combed her long blonde hair and said a cheery 'hello'.

"Oh no," groaned Hermione. She suddenly remembered why she'd woken up feeling so bad.

The two girls sidled towards her. "Hermione… We've decided that now you're hanging around with us…"

"To be completely honest Hermione… What Lavender is trying to say is that we're going to give you a makeover." Said Parvati bluntly.

"What? No! You can't!" said a horrified Hermione.

"We can and we will. Sit,"

Hermione shook her head stubbornly.

"SIT!" ordered Parvati.

Nodding meekly, she sat down.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Ta-da! All done!"

Smiling, a very happy Parvati thrust a mirror towards her. It was obviously a very expensive mirror. It was quite small but could change to whatever size you wanted it. Tiny dancing fairies circled the outside, sprinkling glitter in every direction. But it wasn't the mirror that made Hermione gasp; it was the reflection in it.

Her mouth open, she gaped at what she saw in front of her. Her usually bushy hair was now sleek and shiny; it cascaded down her back in soft curls.

"Is that me?" breathed Hermione.

"Sure is, now go get changed," said Lavender cheerfully.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Do I look ok?" asked Hermione anxiously. She stared into the huge mirror. Lavender had insisted on shortening her skirt, despite her protest ("Hermione, your skirt comes down to your ankles, it wouldn't hurt to show a bit of leg.")

"You look gorgeous." Said Parvati, looking proudly at her handiwork.

"I'm not sure." Said Hermione with a frown. "It just isn't me. I don't feel comfortable."

"But you look great." Piped up Lavender as she swung her bag onto her shoulder. "Come on, we're going to be late for breakfast."

Chatting about their lessons for that day, they walked down the stairs.

"Hey Hermione." Ron said as he came down from his dormitory. "Can you check my homework- WOW! Hemione, you look like a girl!"

"Wow, the compliments just come rolling in, don't they?" said Hermione, frowning at her red-headed friend.

Harry looked up and his mouth dropped along with nearly everyone's in the common room.

"Hermione?"

"What did you do?"

"Doesn't she look great?"

"Hey Hermione!"

"'Mione!"

"Go out with me!"

She continued walking, ignoring the loud yelling behind her. Once they climbed out the portrait hole Hermione let out a giggle.

"Did you see their faces?

The other two girls began laughing too, until they were all leaning on each other for support.

Gasping for breath, Hermione suggested that they go for breakfast.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"No Hermione…" scolded Parvati as she put the bacon and eggs back on their rightful plates. "You have to eat healthier."

"This is healthy. It has all the protein and vitamins and-"

Parvati sighed and picked up Hermione's plate, piling it with toast and fruit.

Hermione made sick noises. "I can't survive a whole day with nothing but… rabbit food!"

"If we can survive, you can. Now eat up, we have a big day ahead of us."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

_God, this is so boring. - P_

**I know. Does he even know he's dead? - L**

Girls, you're supposed to be listening! - H

_Yeah, remind me how we are supposed to do that without falling asleep? -P_

If I can manage it, you can - H

**Oh haha, 'Mione. Damn copycat… Memory of an elephant. Lol:0) - L**

You're just jealous :0p - H

**Meanie - L**

You're the mean one. Poor Harry and Ron, they must be so confused - H

**You mean poor Harry. Ron is so clueless he wouldn't notice if you jumped off a cliff and died. - L**

OI! He's my friend!

Actually, he is a bit stupid - H

**Understatement of the year - L**

_BLAH… BLOOO! - P_

Well, err - H

**That was random - L**

_What? I haven't written for a while! - P_

**And whose fault is that? - L**

_Hey Hermione, I have a dare for you. - P_

Bring it on! - H

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Oh. My. God! I can't believe she did that! - P_

**I've never seen anyone that angry. -L**

_I didn't think he'd notice - P_

**Well when somebody chucks an ink pot at you and yells "Oi professor. Did you know that you're dead?" I think you're bound to notice. - L**

_I can't believe he sent her out. She's going to get in so much trouble! - P_

**Was this our doing? - L**

_Nah… I don't we could change one person that dramatically in half a day - P_

**I wouldn't say that. She's a rebel waiting to burst out! All those years where she was a know-it-all was just her covering up for her wild-side! - L**

_Have you been reading your Muggle stories again?… - P_

**Yes - L**

_Well stop! - P_

**No – L**

_Yes - P_

**No – L**

_Yes - P_

**No – L**

_Yes - P_

**No – L**

_Yes - P_

**No – L**

_Yes - P_

**No – L**

_Yes - P_

**No – ooh! Lunchtime! - L**


	2. Easy To Ignore

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#  
  
Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive criticism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me... I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, random flying antelope.  
  
......................................................................................................................................................  
  
IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ!  
  
Authors Note: Please feel free to write any nonsense in any reviews I get. I don't mind a bit of entertainment and it will be fun!  
  
Also, some people have asked me when the Harry/Hermione romance is going to start. Probably not till the end, but you will pick up hints along the way and there will be some cute moments!  
  
Please bear with my updating. School is really stressful at the moment, but I am spending most of my free time writing new chapters for all 4 of my stories!  
  
PassionFlower  
  
.......................................................................................................................................................  
  
_Night breaks._

_My heart could not ache anymore. _

_Am I that easy to ignore?  
  
My heart could not ache anymore _

_Am I that easy to ignore?_  
  
Easy Too Ignore – Sixpence None The Richer.  
  
.......................................................................................................................................................  
  
"I don't believe it." Said Ron numbly.  
  
Harry shook his head, "Me neither."  
  
"First she blanks us, then she insults a teacher! What next... a lip ring, heavy music, black clothes? What do you think?"  
  
Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "What is up with her?"  
  
"Err Ron..."  
  
"I bet it is Parvati and Lavender."  
  
"Umm, Ron!"  
  
"They've cast a spell!"  
  
"Ron..."  
  
"A potion!"  
  
"RON!"  
  
Irritated, he turned to face Harry. "What?!"  
  
"Up ahead, it's Hermione."  
  
He looked up and sure enough, there was the pretty girl stalking down the corridor.  
  
"Hey Hermione."  
  
But instead of stopping to talk with them like she would have done before, she carried on walking without so much as a glance in their direction.  
  
"Well, that was weird. What's up with her?" asked Ron.  
  
"I think it's 'that time of the month,' " suggested Harry.  
  
"She's a werewolf?!" asked the redheaded boy in alarm.  
  
Harry sighed. "You know, her period...?"  
  
"Her what?"  
  
"You honestly don't know what I'm talking about."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Well, let me explain..."  
  
.......................................................................................................................................................  
  
"Oh gross! That is horrible!" yelped Ron. He paused, thinking. "I always wondered what those white cotton wool things on string were. I found them in Ginny's room a couple of years ago."  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows at his friend. "Riiggghhtt... but anyway, in a couple of days time we will have the old Hermione back."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Super sure."  
  
"Really, really sure?"  
  
"Super, super sure."  
  
"Really, really, really sure?"  
  
"Super, super, super sure."  
  
"Really, really, really, really sure?"  
  
"Super, super, super, super sure."  
  
"Really, re..." Harry slammed a hand over his friend's mouth. "Sometimes..." he said, "I wish that I had friends like Crabbe and Goyle, at least they're too stupid to talk."  
  
.....................................................................................................................................................  
  
"Oh god..." moaned Hermione out loud as she stalked down the corridor. "Why did I do that stupid dare?"  
  
So wrapped in her thoughts, Hermione failed to notice the loud voices coming from down the corridor.  
  
A loud "RON" brought her out of her train of thought. Oh no...  
  
_Just ignore them and they'll go away.  
  
Just ignore them and they'll go away.  
  
Just ignore them and they'll go away._  
  
"Hey Hermione."  
  
_Just ignore them and they'll go away.  
  
Just ignore them and they'll go... oh, they have gone away._  
  
......................................................................................................................................................  
  
"So what's your punishment?" asked a curious Parvati.  
  
"3 months detention and a ban from History of Magic Class."  
  
Lavender raised an eyebrow. "Skipping History of Magic is a punishment?!"  
  
"It is when you have to spend that period cleaning out toilets."  
  
The three girls cringed. They were all sat around the warm fire, they had just finished all their homework and decided this was to perfect time and place to relax.  
  
"Have you seen Harry and Ron yet?" asked Lavender.  
  
"Yes," she replied glumly.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Ignored them."  
  
"What did they look like?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You know, after you blanked them."  
  
"I'm not sure because I wasn't looking, but I'd picture it to be like this..." She pulled a grotesque face that was a mixture of shocked, surprised, hurt and angry.  
  
Holding her sides from laughing, Parvati wondered aloud why they'd never been friends before.  
  
.......................................................................................................................................................  
  
"Harry, what's wrong with Hermione?"  
  
"Dunno. Maybe we should spy on her or something..."  
  
"Hey Harry, Ron." Called Seamus from his bed. "Talking of Hermione, have you seen her? She is SO hot! Why I'd just love to grab her and..."  
  
Within a shot Harry had dived off his bed and straight onto Seamus.  
  
"Harry, HARRY!" yelled Ron, attempting to pull his friend off. "Dean, help me!"  
  
Together they managed to pull a panting Harry off the shaking boy. "If I ever, EVER hear you say those words again, I'll..."  
  
Glaring at Harry, Seamus stalked out the room, Dean following after.  
  
"Oh Harry, what did you do that for?" groaned Ron.  
  
"I don't bloody regret it. He deserved everything he got. Stupid perv..."  
  
"He's acting like a boy Harry." Ron explained. "It's what most normal boys do!"  
  
"Well I'm not normal am I?!" snapped Harry before storming downstairs.  
  
"Harry... Harry, wait!"  
  
.......................................................................................................................................................  
  
Sighing, Hermione collapsed onto her bed.  
  
"What's wrong?" queried Parvati, fiddling with her earrings.  
  
"My life, everything. God, my life is so...so... ANNOYING!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It just does!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Do you want a list?"  
  
"That'd be nice..."  
  
**REASON'S WHY MY LIFE SUCKS: By Hermione Granger. With Commentary from Parvati Patil.**  
  
**I have detention. For the first time in my life, I have detention. What will my mum say?**  
  
You'll be fine. Honestly, take a walk on the wild side!  
  
**I've been ignoring Harry and Ron; they probably won't ever talk to me again.**  
  
_You're still moaning about that?! They are not true friend's if they drop  
you because you've been ignoring them and keeping them out of your  
business. I mean Harry did exactly that..._  
  
**My makeover. I'm not used to this kind of attention. Even SNAPE is flirting with me!**  
  
_ Ok, maybe the Snape thing is quite gross but still... you look totally hot!_  
  
**I don't think Harry likes my new look.  
**  
_Of course he does... Everyone loves your new look.  
_  
**Harry came storming down the stairs a couple of minutes ago. He completely blanked me!**  
  
_Well you're ignoring him. Why are you so bothered about Harry?  
  
And... Oh God... I've just thought of something..._  
  
Snatching the paper from Hermione, Parvati read it out loud to Lavender, who had just entered the room.  
  
"Are you coming to the same conclusion as I am?" asked Parvati.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"What conclusion?" asked Hermione.  
  
"You luurrrvvve Harry."  
  
"What... I, I, I do not!" she stuttered, "I don't love Harry!"  
  
"Oh so just casually dropping him into a conversation every 5 minutes is normal. Or how about obsessing over him every minute?"  
  
"I do NOT obsess!"  
  
"Yes you do." Lavender pretended to be Hermione. "I wonder how Harry is today? I hope he's not upset that I've been ignoring him. Did you ever notice that his eyes sparkle when he's happy?"  
  
"It's all your fault. You and that stupid bet! Honestly, Harry and Ron must be so confused. If only I could explain to them that it is only a week, that I'll talk to them after that."  
  
Making a 'humph' noise, Lavender continued with her teasing, "Harry is so beautiful. I luuurrrvvve him!"  
  
Giggling, Hermione pushed her friend. "I've never said that!"  
  
"Yeah, whatever. You're still in love with Harry!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Ar... Ow. Why did you push me?"  
  
"Now girls." Scolded Parvati. "Play nice."  
  
"Wanna' go to the kitchens?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Sure."  
  
As the voices died away their was a rustle of a cloak, then seemingly out of thin air, appeared two boys.  
  
"Well Ron," gulped Harry. "I think that answered your question."  
  
Unable to speak, Ron simply nodded.  
  
.......................................................................................................................................................  
  
Hey everyone!  
  
I just want to say a HUUUGGGEEE thank you to all my reviewers, without you I would be... err, reviewless.  
  
Please feel free to write any nonsense in any reviews I get. I don't mind a bit of entertainment and it will be fun!  
  
Also, some people have asked me when the Harry/Hermione romance is going to start. Probably not till the end, but you will pick up hints along the way and there will be some cute moments!  
  
Please bear with my updating. School is really stressful at the moment, but I am spending most of my free time writing new chapters for all 4 of my stories!  
  
PassionFlower xxxxxx


	3. Me Vs The World

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#

Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive criticism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me… I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, random flying antelope.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Hey everyone,

I am SO sorry for the long delay. I thought that I'd get this chapter up as a treat for you because I am going on holiday. Yay!

All the way to sunny Ibiza. But no fear, while I am getting a lovely tan I shall put special effort into writing new chapters.

God, don't you just hate writers block! It sucks; I've been completely out of ideas for ALL of my stories.

PassionFlower.

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__

Cause it's me against the world  
(Oh what a stupid day)  
Yeah, it's me against the world  
(Just stay out of my way)  
And incase you haven't noticed  
And incase you haven't heard  
It's just me against the world  
And the world is winning

_Me Vs. The World – Halo Friendlies_

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Hermione Granger was officially having the worst day of her life. Her alarm hadn't gone off so she had woken up with only five minutes to get up, get washed, get dressed and get to her first lesson: Potions.

Both Parvati and Lavender were in the hospital wing because they had 'the painters in' AGAIN. How many periods could you have in a month?

And what a coincidence that they always had menstrual cramps just before potions.

She was shattered. Parvati and Lavender had kept her awake half the night trying to persuade her to skip lessons with them.

FLASHBACK

"_Oh come on Hermione." Begged Lavender. "It's fun. All we do is sit around with hot drinks and a years supply of teen magazines."_

"_Yeah. And don't forget the food." Added Parvati. "The chocolate and the sweets… and the ice cream…"_

_Sighing in contentment, the both stared into space with dreamy expressions on their faces._

"_Oh go on." Said Parvati, snapping out of her daze. "Just go to Madame Pomphrey and tell her you have cramps."_

_Hermione shook her head. "No way. I have NEVER missed a class. Well except that time in second year, but that couldn't be helped… but that is beside the point! I won't do it. Education is too important to me. I'm putting my foot down and no is my final answer."_

"_Jeez." Said Lavender. "Calm down. Don't have a nervy-b"_

_Hermione raised her eyebrows._

"_Anyway." Said Parvati as she grabbed Lavenders arm. "We're off to the hospital wing. Toodles."_

_And with that they skipped out of the room._

END FLASHBACK

"Crap. Crap. Crap." She chanted to herself as she hurried out her dormitory.

If there was one class you didn't want to be late to, it was Potions. The professor who taught the subject was Professor Severus Snape, who, as Head of Slytherin hated all Gryffindors. He looked for the slightest reason to deduct points from Gryffindor, and any attempt made by a student to defend his or her position was futile. Angering Snape was the last thing anyone wanted to do.

As she ran down to the dungeons, where Potions class was held, the temperature dropped about twenty degrees. She could swear that Snape enjoyed having class down there in the dungeons, treating the students more like prisoners than pupils. How they'd survived years of potions was miraculous, but what was more miraculous was that Neville Longbottom (Hermione's potions partner) hadn't been blown up yet.

"Why, this is a funny sight. Miss know-it-all Granger is late for her lessons." Called the silky voice of Professor Snape.

She turned and saw her potions professor stormed down the corridor towards her. Even when the man was in a hurry, he managed to walk with elegance, his robes billowing out behind him.

"I think you're mistaken sir, a lesson doesn't officially start until the teacher is present."

"Ten points from Gryffindor." He barked. "Now get inside the classroom."

She nodded mutely and scurried into the dungeon.

"Where were you?" mouthed Neville as she slid into her seat.

"Late night." She whispered before turning to the front of the room.

"Today," began Snape his silky voice in a very mild-sounding tone, "we will be brewing potions meant to ease headaches and other minor aches and pains. Madam Pomfrey has insisted I teach you dunderheads a thing or two about how to properly deal with such minor ailments. If I were you, I wouldn't waste another moment of my precious time, now!" he suddenly shouted.

Jumping at the sudden change in volume, the class immediately went to fetch the necessary ingredients.

"Were we supposed to read about this?" asked Ron to Harry, "'Cause I didn't."

Harry gulped. "Me neither."

"What was that I heard?" asked Snape, his head right between the two boys. They could feel his cold breath on their necks, making the tiny hairs there stand up.

"Um, nothing, Professor." Ron lied. His skin had paled considerably making his freckles stand out starkly.

"And why are you two not preparing your potion?"

"Well sir, maybe if you would mind your own business, we would get some work done." Harry said between clenched teeth.

"Potter, if you knew what was good for you, you would learn to shut that mouth of yours. You'll be wishing you would have brewed that pathetic potion that could have remedied the soon-to-be headache you and Weasley will be experiencing in detention at seven o'clock this evening!"

"Is that a threat?" he asked furiously.

"No Potter. It's called a detention."

All the while, Hermione kept glancing at Harry and Ron as Snape continued tormenting the two trouble-makers, or so he called them. It was times like these she wished she were still talking to Harry and Ron. No matter how much she pretended not to, she actually enjoyed listening to their rants about Snape.

Neville was actually not giving her too much of a problem today, so she continued to work on the potion, carefully dropping the ingredients into the cauldron in the proper order. Everything was going fine until Neville reached over to the smouldering cauldron with something foreign to the recipe in his chubby hand.

"No Neville. What are you doing?"

Neville shrugged apologetically before stepping backwards so Hermione could rescue her hard work. It was then that she felt something warm and wet between her legs. Fearing the worst, she looked down and sure enough, there was a small red stain on her skirt.

_Oh no… _she panicked. _What do I do? What if Snape notices and –_

"Playing saviour again Granger? Anyone would think you were aspiring to be Potter."

He smirked at his own joke. "Longbottom. What have you got on your hands?"

Hermione didn't care what was going on between Snape and Neville, though. She cursed herself silently for forgetting to pack the necessary feminine products for her unwanted monthly visitor, and she knew that Snape never excused a student to use to lavatory to relieve themselves, let alone deal with the curse females were forced to live with for a large majority of their lives.

Swallowing, Hermione put her hand up in the air. Snape was still eyeing Neville up and down, glaring at the poor boy with utter contempt. Hermione wiggled her arm back and forth in the air several times, trying to gain Snape's attention, but it was of no use. She knew she would have to say something.

"Umm… Professor?" she asked timidly. "I have a question to ask."

Snape turned and glared at her. "Well Granger. What is it?"

"It's…umm… kind of personal." She mumbled

"Excuse me? Maybe you ought to use your mouth and annunciate the words when you speak to me, Miss Granger. If you can't even speak properly, kindly stop wasting my time."

"I said sir, that it is a personal question."

He was slightly taken-aback. He had expected her to ask him about the potion or the ingredients, not a personal question. His nose wrinkled at the thought.

"Please, Professor Snape, it's important," she pleaded. "I can't ask you in front of everyone."

He didn't give her any reason to continue, but she did when she realised he wasn't going to respond.

"I need to go to the girls toilets sir." She said as confidently as she could.

"I don't allow students to leave my lesson during class. It can wait till the end."

And with that he turned to leave. But Hermione, unable to control her reflexes, reached out and grabbed his arm. By now many students had turned to watch and they gasped in unison at this act.

"Miss Granger." He said between gritted teeth, "Let go of my arm unless you want to spend you last years at Hogwarts scrubbing the castle from top to bottom with a toothbrush!"

"Not but sir. I had an accident. It's my…err… 'Time of the month'."

A few Slytherin girls nearby giggled nastily, knowing exactly what Hermione was talking about. However, most of the boys, Professor Snape included, looked confused.

His face soon hardened and he roughly pulled his arm away from her. "What are you talking about, child? You're talking nonsense."

"I know exactly what I am talking about. You have no right to insult young woman who's-" she looked slightly flustered, but continued. "Who's having her bloody period!"

The amount of discomfort that last statement caused him was unbelievable. He squirmed slightly. Never, NEVER, in all his years of teaching had he been caught off guard. And now he had, all because of a blasted girls period!

"Fine you may go." He said regaining his composure. "But I must insist that next time you come better prepared."

"Thank you sir."

He glared at her retreating back before shouting. "Oh and Granger? Ten points from Gryffindor for making a scene."

Sighing, she broke into a run towards her dormitory. She was very surprised to find Parvati and Lavender in there.

"Hermione!" they screeched, launching themselves at her.

"Umm… girls, you need to let me go." She said, feeling more of the warm liquid drip down her legs. "I need to fetch my tampons."

They giggled but moved away.

A few minutes later she came out of the toilet and sat down next to her friends.

"Funny isn't it. Me and Lavender fake our period and you actually get yours!"

"It's no funny." She yelped. "I had to explain to Professor Snape (in front of the whole class!) Why I had to use the toilet!"

They collapsed into a fit of laughter. "What did he say?"

Hermione laughed at the thought. "He looked so surprised and confused. Then he kind of looked angry because I made him feel uncomfortable in front of the whole class"

"Bloody potions." Giggled Parvati.

"Yes, bloody potions indeed." Grumbled Hermione.

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	4. Scared To Say

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#

Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive criticism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me… I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, random flying antelope.

**_AUTHORS NOTE:_**

Hey everyone...

Oh my God. You guys are fabbity fabbity fab fab fab. Over 100 reviews! I love you, I really do!

"I'd... I'd like to thank my family, my pet rabbit, my pet carrot..."

To celebrate I was going to go grab myself a ice cold Pina Colada. But then again, maybe a nice warm Hot Chocolate would be better in this weather. GO AWAY RAIN CLOUDS, IT'S NOT WINTER YET!

Thank you for all your lovely reviews. It was quite scary when I collapsed because it was on a public bus. It was really cool as well though, nothing like that ever happens to me so when I woke up, I was like: "Wow! I collapsed! That's so cool!"

The doctors don't know why I keep getting headaches but they said if I keep taking some pills they gave me, I should be fine. The pills are really gross. I hate them, why don't they have a flavour?

This chapter is a bit rushed because I was kinda out of it when I wrote. No seriously, that stuff they give you in hospital is like- woah! Really strange, and it kinda made me see things differently and oh, it was awful!

So yeah... My doctor advised me to limit my time on the computer but oh well. I'd rather risk my health and read FanFiction than sit around being boring.

So, does anyone have MSN messenger? If you do, leave me your address and I'll add you to my list.

(Please! I have no friends on MSN.)

PassionFlower

xxxxx

_You've been my friend as long as I r'member,_

_You're the nicest person I know (I know)..._

_I've stopped and thought about this ('bout this, 'bout this) _

_But (quietly)... I think I like you (like you) _

_but I'm scared to say _

_Scared to say yeah, yeah_

**Scared To Say- Avril Lavigne**

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It had been exactly two days since Hermione had accepted Parvati and Lavender's bet. During this time she had been more rebellious than she had in her entire life. Many people had begun to notice and wondered why 'The Golden Trio' now lacked one. Everyone had their own ideas, including the Slytherins.

"I heard that the Mudblood is pregnant," said Pansy.

Malfoy wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Who'd want to have sex with her?"

"Potter apparently," replied Pansy, "Her birthday was sometime in September. It was his present to her."

"The Mudblood has a birthday?" asked Malfoy, "I thought she'd merely congealed in a gutter somewhere."

The sixth years laughed before turning back to Pansy who was practically wetting herself over the excitement of so many people being interested in her.

She giggled. "Anyway, when Granger told Potter she was pregnant, he threw a fit. That's why they're not talking."

"Err," mumbled Crabbe, "Why is she with Patil and Brown?"

"Advice," replied Pansy, "They're slags, they probably have hundreds of kids hidden away."

There was silence in the group before Draco asked; "How can Granger be pregnant if she had her period today?"

"It was a decoy, to stop people being suspicious."

"But why would they be? She hasn't shown any signs of pregnancy."

"Yes, she has," argued Pansy, "She's getting a little fat around the edges."

Draco snorted. They all knew Pansy was jealous of Granger's makeover. As much as he hated to admit it, the mudblood had been looking, dare he say, attractive. He shuddered.

"And what was that supposed to mean?" asked Pansy angrily.

The rest of the sixth years watched with rapt attention. It wasn't often that you saw the most popular Slytherins arguing.

"What?"

She imitated his snort.

"Oh, I was just thinking that you were obviously je-"

He paused before mentally smacking himself. "Err, I mean. I was just thinking back to today's Potions lesson."

Pansy's expression softened and she giggled. "Yeah that was funny. The way the mudblood panicked and then embarrassed Snape."

Many of the boys looked at Malfoy questionably, knowing that he'd just told a lie. He shook his head, before mouthing Later.

"Right, well I'm going to bed."

There was a murmur of agreement as they all stood up stretching. Bidding each other goodnight, they went up to their respected dorms.

None of them noticed the small first year huddled in the corner listening to every word. She smirked, this was just the thing to boost her popularity. Yes, by tomorrow, everyone would know of Hermione Granger's pregnancy.

**_OF LOVE AND PIERCINGS..._**

**__**

_Dear Diary_

_I cant believe how much fun Parvati and Lavender are. I had fun with harry and Ron but with girls it's different. They can relate to all your girlie problems and you can tell them all your secrets without feeling embarrassed. _

_Besides, I always feel slightly nervous round Harry and Ron because Ron always wants to know who I like. I know Ron likes me, it's pretty obvious but I just don't feel that way. Ron is more like an older brother, an overprotective, annoying big brother, but a brother just the same. Whereas Harry, well Harry, he's just so..so perfect. His beautiful green eyes that seem to search your soul. His long black hair that looks so soft you want to run your hands through it. And his sense of humour and his laugh, the way he smiles... Everything about him is just so perfect._

_Love Hermione Potter (I wish...)_

Sighing happily, Hermione closed the small black book and tucked it safely into her trunk. Reaching under her pillow, she pulled out her red and gold checked pyjamas and quickly changed into them. She was about to settle down and read her book when Parvati called her into the bathroom.

Stretching, Hermione slowly padded over to the bathroom.

"Ok Hermione," said Parvati smoothly," I want you to sit on this stool and relax."

"Why?" she asked, as she cautiously sat down.

Parvati didn't answer, instead she bent down and scraped Hermione's hair into a scruffy ponytail.

"What are you doing?" she asked again.

Parvati smiled, "You'll see."

It was at that moment that Lavender walked into the bathroom carrying a large basket of assorted items.

Parvati said a few whispered words to her before leaving the room.

"What's going on?"

"We're piercing your ears."

Hermione squeaked and clasped her hands over her ears, "Oh now you're not!"

"Oh yes we are," said Parvati as she came back in the room. She chucked a pair of gloves over to Lavender before putting a pair on herself. Reaching into the basket, she pulled out two small ice packs which she placed on Hermione's ears.

"Parvati, no!"

Hermione wriggled as she tried to escape their clutches.

"Hermione, if you don't shut up I'm gonna hex your ass back to the muggle world!"

"Whatever," yelped Hermione.

"Hermione!" yelled Parvati, "If you don't stay still I might accidentally jab this needle somewhere other than your ear!"

Hermione stilled immediately. "Isn't there a spell that could pierce my ears?"

"There is. But it can go wrong."

"Oh please. Just use that!"

"Do you want dumbo ears?"

"Not really."

"Then this is the only way."

Hermione nodded slightly before cursing under her breath. Parvati took no notice, instead she nodded to Lavender who moved forwards and removed the ice packs from her ear.

"Ok Hermione. I'm going to pierce one ear and Lavender will pierce the other." She grabbed her wand. "Whoops, almost forgot. Silencio!"

This, of course, did nothing to calm Hermione's nerves. "A silencing spell?! This is going to hurt isn't it! That's why you're putting one up. It's going to HURT. Parvati, Lavender... I don't want my ear piercing now! Leave me alone!"

"Hermione," soothed Lavender,"Just sit down, take a deep breath and relax... 3, 2 ,1 ..."

"ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The two girls jumped back in shock. The needles flew through the air narrowly missing Olivia Watson, their dormmate, who had come to brush her teeth.

She surveyed the room in shock before asking: "What the hell are you doing?!"

**_SIRIUSLY IN LOVE_**

Dear Sirius,

I hope this letter finds you well now that you're a free man! **Yeah Sirius! You're a free man! (This is** **Ron by the way!)** Ron, shut up. How is the Lowkey Pad coming along? I can't wait till the summer, my first ever without the Dursley's! **Yeah those stupid bastar-** Sorry Sirius, Ron is being gay. **Me being gay? You're the one who is denying the fact that you luuurrrvvve Hermione. Oh God Sirius. Harry is acting really weird. he's standing in front of me saying: "Don't go there girlfriend" and then snapping a 'Z' in the air. Help!**

Ha! That scared him off! Anyway, Sirius, I need you to give me some advice. Say this girl that you really like stops talking to you. Then one day when you accidentally find yourself under your invisibility cloak in the girls dorms **We weren't pinching the girls underwear Sirius, honest!** Ron, shut up. Anyway, you find out that she likes you too but she can't talk to you because of a bet. **Basically, he's trying to say that HE LOVES HERMIONE BUT SHE HAS GONE CrAZy**! Thanks Ron, tell the whole common room while you're at it. **Ok**. NO RON! I didn't mean it! Get down from the table NOW!

Sorry Sirius, I have to go.

Harry **and Ron**

Sirius smiled. They sounded just like he and James did when they were that age. He was about to write back when he spotted another piece of parchment in the envelope. Reaching forwards, he unfolded it and read:

Sirius,

I was just about to send this with Hedwig when I realised I had another question. I didn't ask it with Ron around because I would never hear the end of it. I don't know how to say this, but I suppose it's better than asking you face to face...

How do you know when you're in love? It's just that recently I've been, well, I've been noticing things about here. Not just the normal things that guys notice, but other things. Like how, when she laughs she tilts her head back and lets her hair trail down her back. And the way her hair sparkles and shines in sun light and it just seems to glow ... bouncing round her shoulders as she saunters down the corridor. And when she's shy or embarrassed she leans forwards and her hair falls into her face and she smiles the cutest smile. And her eyes ... well, I'll shut up now because I'm sure I must be boring you.

But Sirius, the thing is is that I've realised I have liked her for a long while, I just paid no attention to my feelings. And now she's gone... I find myself missing her. A lot. But when I see her, there's just this happy ping in my stomach and...

Oh shit. An owl has just crapped on my head. Stupid bastard! Yeah, well... I think I've been here to long now. Ron will wonder where I am and I don't want to miss my curfew.

Write soon.

Harry

Sirius gasped quietly, before smiling happily. He looked up to the sky before murmuring softly: "Well, Prongs. I think your son may be in love."

**_BLOOD AND DUMBO_**

Hermione whimpered as she looked at the amount of blood on her finger. She turned a strange shade of green, then white before falling off her chair as she fainted.

"CRAP!" cried Lavender , running towards her friend.

"I'll get Madame Pompfrey." called Olivia as she raced out the room.

Pulling her friends head onto her lap, Lavender gently stroked her head while Parvati attempted to stem the blood flow.

"I didn't realise it would bleed that much..." whispered Lavender.

"Me neither."

"At least she didn't get Dumbo ears." said Parvati with a small smile.

"Yeah..."

**_A FEW HOURS LATER_**

Hermione stared in the mirror at her newly pierced ears. Madame Pompfrey had assigned both Parvati and Lavender detentions. ("Scrubbing bedpans. She is such a cow!" they'd exclaimed as soon as she left) The school nurse had advised Hermione to go to sleep, something that they'd taken blind notice of.

"It was so scary!" said Parvati, "Did it really hurt?"

"YES! I wouldn't have screamed otherwise. But still, I quite like pierced ears. Even if they are still sore."

"They look so cool. Harry will be falling at your feet. Not that he isn't already..."

Hermione blushed. "For the last time, I do not fancy Harry! Never have and never will." She paused, "Besides, Harry would never like a girl like me."

Parvati and Lavender sighed in frustration before hitting their friend around the head with a pillow. She could be so stupid at times.

**_SLEEPLESS NIGHTS_**

"Checkmate." said Ron triumphantly.

"Bugger!" cried Harry. "Want another game?"

"Nah... I might go to bed."

"Go on Ron. One more game!"

"Harry, it's really late. And besides, you look like you could you use some sleep. You look awful."

"Thanks." He replied sarcastically, "Go on, just a quick game."

"Harry, mate, have you been sleeping?"

"Err... yes."

"No you haven't Harry. You can tell, I hear you tossing and turning at night. You're always getting up in the middle of the night. What's wrong, why aren't you sleeping?"

Harry was saved from answering when Madame Pomfrey came through the portrait hole, Olivia Watson trailing in her wake.

"Olivia!" Ron called, as soon as Madame Pomfrey disappeared up to the girls dormitories. "What's wrong?"

"Hermione." said Olivia before running after the school nurse.

Harry and Ron looked at each other in alarm. "Do you think she'll be alright?"

Ron bit his lip. "I don't know."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Shall we go to bed?"

"Sure."

All night, Harry lay awake with one question in his mind. What was wrong with Hermione?

**_GOSSIPING RAVENCLAW_**

"W-wisdom!" panted the fourth year Ravenclaw, the portrait opened and she quickly ran to her dormitory.

"Beth, Willow, Hilary. Oh what the hell, girls. I have something to tell you."

Almost instantly, every girl in the fourth year dormitory ran towards her. "Girls... Hermione Granger is pregnant!"

**_GOSSIPING HUFFLEPUFF_**

"Have you heard?" asked Janet Taylor. "Hermione Granger is pregnant."

The assembled Hufflepuff's gasped before whispering excitedly.

**_THE NEXT MORNING_**

"Lavender! Have you seen my shoes?"

"The red ones with black stripes?"

"No, the black ones with red stripes!"

Hermione moaned and banged her head on the mirror. She was having one of those mornings where everything seemed to be going wrong. Her hair was frizzy, her skin felt oily, she felt fat and to top it all of, her ears hurt.

"Hermione?" asked Lavender, brushing her long blonde hair, "What's wrong?"

Hermione was about to rant about how bad she was feeling when Parvati asked where her hairbrush was.

"In here, Parv. I borrowed it 'cause I can't find mine,"

"Wow." said Parvati as she brushed her hair into a bun. "Hermione you look awful! What's wrong?"

Hermione sighed. "I feel ugly and I look ugly. I'm fat, my hair is frizzy and my skin feel like I've stuck it in chip fat. My ears feel like someone rammed a needle into them- oh wait, they did!"

Ignoring Hermione's directed insult to her and Lavender she began pulling various items out of the cupboard. "Well Hermione, your hair can be fixed with an easy spell , your skin will feel fresher if you use these wipes and I can assure you that you are not fat. As for your ears, a little pain relieving spell can help that."

Hermione often wondered how Parvati seemed to know more spells than her. Granted that most of them were beauty spells, in fact thay all were beauty spells, but that was beside the point.

"Right Hermione. You look as gorgeous as you usually do. Now lets go."


	5. Pregnant? Me? You've gotta be kidding!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#

Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive criticism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me… I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, random flying antelope.

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**Authors Note: **_sheepishly enters_ Er...hey guys! _cringes at angry glares_ Sorry about that! I know, I've just been so busy with school. Our school has building work being done on it. They have a lot to do and won't be finished till December. Our school is covered in scaffolding and green netting. You have to walk through hundreds of passages just to get in and out of the building. We have machines, drilling and hammering all day next to our windows. The builders were supposed to be fixing our roof to stop leaks but it is still dripping buckets of water and a builder put his foot through the roof while I was having an art lesson. So it has been kinda hard for our teachers to teach us so they usually just let us do our own thing. (You have to shout to be heard and they don't want to lose their voices) Yeah… so I've been spending most of my lessons drafting out plans for this story. (The teachers have been making up for lost lessons by giving us a ton of homework… joy. Why do we get homework anyway?)

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**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MYSTICAL SPIRITS FOR BEING FABBITY FAB!**

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Dear Diary,

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Sorry diary, you're probably wondering what I'm shouting about. Well let me tell you…

It all started when we got out of the common room. I noticed people staring at me but I didn't think much of it. Then this stupid little fourth year and her gang of friends start giggling when I walked past. By now I was getting suspicious. I could hear people whispering about someone getting pregnant, so Parvati went and asked a group of second years who explained that the girl who got knocked up was…

Me.

After that the conversation went as follows:

Me: When did that happen?

Parvati: Why didn't you tell me?

Lavender: Yeah right… you must have got mixed up with someone else.

Second Year: (nervously): Umm… no. It's her. Amanda Thomas told me.

Me: Well it's a load of rubbish. I haven't ever had sex with Harry and I'm not pregnant. If you tell anyone else I'll hex you so bad you won't be able to tell you're face from your bum.

Second Year: Umm… ok. (Walks off)

I know that was mean, but I was really cross. It's unfair; I hate The Hogwart's Grapevine.

It was so embarrassing. I got into The Great Hall and everything went silent. I mean, completely quiet.

Argh! I eventually stormed out, but not before hearing that:

Apparently, I have/am:

Had my baby and am hiding it under my bed. (This is just stupid. Why would I hide a baby under my bed? The closet is a much better place to put one)

Haven't had my baby yet and am casting concealing spells on my stomach. (Possible…)

Going to drop out of school. (Yup. Then I'm going to move into a trailer park and have loads of kids called Billy-Bob-Joe-Hank-Billy-Hank-Bob-Joe)

Have no money. (Actually… That is true. I am skint. I'll have to ask mum for some money)

Have had sex with Harry. (I wish)

Talking about Harry… there is a Quidditch match today. Gryffindor v Slytherin. Oooh, can't wait to see Harry in his full Quidditchy glory. drool

Hermione

Xxxx

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_**HARRY'S P.O.V.**_

It's very strange when I enter The Great Hall. Everyone is gathered in clumps and they're whispering furiously. As I sit down I catch a few snippets of their conversation.

"Yeah… shagged our resident bookworm…"

"Didn't know he had it in him"

"She lost hers before mine… That is so unfair"

"Yeah well, at least you're not pregnant like Granger."

Harry reeled in shock. What? Hermione was _pregnant?_

"Hey mate." Said Ron, plonking down on the bench beside him. "What's wrong? Are you nervous about the Quidditch match? You shouldn't be. You could beat those slimy Slytherins blindfolded."

"No, I'm not nervous about Quidditch…"

"Well, then what?"

"Hermione's pregnant."

Ron spat out the pumpkin juice he'd just been about to drink. "What?!"

"I dunno how. I just came down for breakfast and everyone was talking about it."

"Who with?"

"Dunno." Said Harry glumly.

"Hang on." Ron stood up and walked to the other end of the table and asked a second year girl who had just come in. When Ron bounded up to her, she squeaked and ran off. Shrugging, Ron turned to a first year.

Wide-eyed, Ron quickly sprinted back to his seat. "Mate… why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"You mean, you don't know?"

Harry sighed impatiently. "Know what?"

"You, apparently, got Hermione pregnant."

"What the hell…?"

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"Welcome Hogwarts professors and students to the long awaited match between Gryffindor's amazing Quidditch team and Slytherin's abysmal…"

"JORDAN!" McGonagall bellowed.

"Err… Slytherin's team. Right… On the Gryffindor team we have: Co-Captains, and Bludgers...err Beaters Fred and George Weasley. Chasers for Gryffindor are the lovely and talented Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson and the unconquerable Katie Bell..." The cheers and whistles rocked the stadium. "New to the team, and welcome addition is third-year Ben Derson as Keeper. And last, but certainly not least, our very own seeker-extraordinaire , the man who has NEVER missed a snitch. Well, apart from that one time with the dementors and the…"

"Jordan…" growled Professor McGonagall lowly, "You're getting off track."

"Err, rightio Minnie. The one and only HARRY POTTER!!"

The crowd roared.

"And then we have the Slytherin gits…"

"JORDAN!" Goodness, the woman had impeccable timing and volume.

"Team." He amended hastily. "The Slytherin team is as follows, Captain and Chaser Marcus Flint." Music to his ears, short of the small contingent of Slytherins (past and present), most of the stadium roared with resounding 'boos'. "Chasers Denis Warrington, Christoph Montague. In the position of Beaters, though they're bloody Bludgers on their own, Shane Bole and Paul Derrick. Incompetent Keeper Bletchly will mind the goals, and playing Seeker since he bought his way onto the team..."

"JORDAN! STOP THAT RIGHT..."

"Draco Malfoy and his shiny Nimbus 2003 collection, sported by all his lovely well-purchased team members...."

"JORDAN, IF YOU DON'T STOP RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"Sorry Professor, my house loyalty got in my way." He apologized. "Now on Professor Dumbledore's (who, incidently, is not here today) orders. Please stand for the Wizarding National Anthem. Those of you who are confused as to why we are doing this, it is Remembrance Saturday today, a time in which we remember those who died fighting You-Know-Who and sing for the freedom they gave us. Right, off we go."

Then, and only then, did the greatest known tragedy of what it meant to be a wizard begin.

The slaughter of music was profound. Caterwauling in the extreme, and Lee Jordan, despite his love of the game of Quidditch, his role of commentator and the wizarding world he lived in, had to shudder.

At last the murder of the song stopped. "Right. Lovely folks... just lovely. I'm sure they're very grateful. Well, with all the preambles out of the way... let's play QUIDDITCH!"

Again, the crowds roared their approval. A flurry of action hit the field as the Slytherin team burst from their locker room... their green and silver uniforms a sharp contrast to the blue sky and fluffy white clouds. "And... out first, the Slytherins... FLINT, WARRINGTON, MONTAGUE, BOLE, DERRICK, BLETCHLY and... MALFOY!"

"Annnnddd, the obvious winners of this match, the Gryffindor Quidditch team!"

"Jordan. I've warned you. One more word and you'll be banned from all future matches. All future Hogsmeade trips and…"

Madam Hooch fortunately took this opportunity to signal both teams from the centre of the field. Clearly, her voice amplified by charm, she opened the game in her usual style. "I want a nice fair game, all of you." She insisted, glaring fiercely at the captains (and co-captains) of both teams.

"The players assume position, in preparation for the release of the Quaffle. Madam Hooch raises her whistle and… the Quaffle is released. Katie Bell passes to Angelina who shoots down the pitch and… 10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR."

Flint has got the Quaffle and passes to Warrington… who drops it! Johnson takes possession of the Quaffle, passes long back to Alicia and...... SCORE! 10 points for Gryffindor! Slytherin takes possession. Chaser Montague ducks one Bludger and dives to evade Spinnet. Speeding toward the goals, his own teammates Bole and Derrick keep aiming Bludgers to keep Gryffindor chasers clear. Oh-ho... he shoots... Derson dives and blocks the score. Ten-nothing, Gryffindor! Bole chucks his bat at Potter who dives out the way. Free pass to Bell.

Katie Bell passes to Spinnet who passes back to Bell who is intercepted by Montague. He shoots, he scores. The score is ten-ten."

The game continued for almost half an hour before "POTTER HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH. HE DIVES, MALFOY ON HIS TAIL… A superb bit of flying there… Potter shoots up and… HE'S GOT THE SNITCH. GRYFFINDOR WIN! AND… FOUUULLLL!"

In fury, Shane Bole had chucked his beaters bat with all his might. The bat sailed through the air before hitting Harry on the head with a resounding thwack. He dropped from his broom, his body arching before BANG. He hit the ground.

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Numb with shock, the Quidditch fans left the stands, craning their necks to see the floating body of Harry Potter. Thoughts flurried through Hermione's mind as she slowly trudged up towards the castle.

"Did you… did you see… I'll be surprised if Bole isn't expelled because of this." Said Parvati.

Hermione nodded glumly.

Holding the door open for Hermione, Parvati and Lavender gently led her to their common room.

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"Students. As I'm sure you are aware, one of your fellow students was injured during a Quidditch match. Mr Harry Potter is currently in the Hospital Wing, in a coma. We're not sure when he'll wake up."

The room filled with gasps and whispers. Dumbledore held up his hands for silence.

"Now, on a brighter note, I have delayed your dinner for too long … eat up."

Food suddenly appeared on the table and the room once again filled with chatter.

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As the clock struck midnight, a lone figure crept down the winding corridors. Her bare feet pattered on the stone floor. Clutched in their hand was a small envelope and a tiny parcel. Opening the Hospital Wing door, they snuck in and tip-toed to the bed by the window. Lying on that bed was a dark-haired figure. With a whispered goodnight, the card and parcel was placed on the bed. Taking a last look at the still body, Hermione walked out of the door.

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Hermione sat quietly in her Dorm room, half-listening to the excited chatter of Parvati and Lavender next to her.

"Yeah, apparently, Harry's got so many gifts and cards and stuff that he has FOUR whole tables filled with them. Bet most of it is chocolate and sweets"

"Cool. I'd love to eat that much sweet stuff in one go."

"Yeah but you can't because you're watching your figure." Said Lavender

"So? I could still eat that much chocolate. I'd just have to work out a bit." Argued Parvati.

"A bit? Girl, you'd have to be exercising permanently and judging by your un-enthusiasm for sport, I doubt that would happen."

"Excuse me, I could so exercise all the time if I wanted to."

"Could not."

"Could too."

"Could not."

"Could too."

"Could not."

"Could too."

"Could too."

"Could n… I hate you."

"Oh you know you love me."

Parvati refused to reply.

"Come on Parvati, why are you being so… eek!" shrieked Lavender as she was suddenly pushed off the sofa.

Hermione and Parvati sniggered as a disgruntled Lavender poked her head up from the ground. "Not funny."

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"You know…" mumbled Hermione as she munched her way through a bowl of muesli. "This stuff isn't that bad."

"Hurrah!" whooped Lavender, raising her hands to the air. "We've converted her!"

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Anywaaay… What shall we do about Saturday night?"

"Well… I was thinking we could…" started Parvati but before she could finish, the bell rang for first lessons.

"Eurgh." Groaned Lavender. "History of Magic."

"Eurgh." Said Hermione. "Scrubbing bedpans."

"Again?" said Parvati. "They must be scrubbed every day!"

"Yeah I know. It's a load of rubbish. Just because of that little incident in History of Magic…"

Both Parvati and Lavender were staring at her in horror and making odd faces to get her attention.

"Hermione…" hissed Lavender.

But Hermione was in full rant mode; which meant nothing could stop her, except…

"Ah. Miss Granger. I was wondering if I could have a word."

Her mouth dropped and she turned slowly towards the twinkling eyes of Professor Dumbledore.

"Miss Patil, Brown. Am I right in saying you have a class to attend?"

With two mumbled words of "Of course sir" they hurriedly walked out the room.

"Right, Miss Granger. If you would kindly follow me."

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_Hermione's P.OV._

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I'm in Professor Dumbledore's _office! _Alone, without Harry or Ron, ALONE!

And he's sat across from me, arching his fingers and looking at me. Oh God. Oh God.

He's rocking back in his chair and still staring at me with those damn twinkly eyes. STOP TWINKLING. ARRGGGH. DAMN IT. STOP IT!

Ok. He's talking now. "Miss Granger, I couldn't help but hear something that is going round the school at the moment. Do you know what it is?"

"Yes sir." I mumble. "But I'm not pregnant, honest! I swear on my life. Me and Harry aren't even talking anymore! Though I wish we were because I really, really like him. I possibly even love him. I couldn't be pregnant though. I haven't even had my first kiss, let alone had sex with Harry (though I wish I could) and… and,"

I peter off when Dumbledore holds up his hand for silence. He furrows his brow in confusion. (WOW! I made Dumbledore confused. I should get a prize for that!)

"Miss Granger, I was merely talking about your ambition to become a teacher. I was wondering if you wanted to tutor some students."

Oh. God.

I just told Professor Dumbledore that I loved Harry.

I just told Dumbledore that I wanted to have sex with Harry.

I just told Dumbledore that I wanted to have sex with his favourite student.

Please just kill me now.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Authors Notes.

Again, sorry it took so long to come out. It was quite hard to write because I had really bad writers block. Anyhoo, just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed.

(28 days till Christmas!)

PassionFlower

xxxx


	6. Dumbledore's Manly Things

_Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#_

_Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive cristicism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me instead... I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, randomly convenient flying antelope._

_Authors Note: Aren't I nice? I'm giving you all an extra special Christmas present. It's a whole new chapter! Whoo! Even though half of you didn't bother reviewing the last bloody chapter. (Oh God I sound English)_

_Anyway, you lucky people... here it is..._

* * *

Dear Diary

I'm writing this in the Hospital Wing. Oh, don't worry about me Diary. I'm not hurt. I'm just cleaning the bedpans again. Those bloody bedpans. I don't know why they need to be cleaned that much. Harry spends more time in the Hospital Wing than anyone else and he never uses them. So why do they ahev to be cleaned?

I just came back from talking to Dumbledore. He called me into his offfice after breakfast. We were there for quite a long time. Anyhoo, the gist and nub of it is that I shouldn't worry about what people say about me. It's is obviously all lies and anybody who believes that is jealous. He didn't even seem that shocked when I told him I wanted to throw his favourite student down and shag him senseless. He just smiled knowingly. I also asked him if I could go back into my History of Magic class. I've never done anything bad before (well, excdpt that one time. And the other... and that time when...). Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, I've always got good grades and I have been a dedicated student. His eyes twinkled (DAMN THOSE TWINKLY EYES!) and he told me he would talk to Professor Binns. Then he offered me a lemon drop.

He really is a very weird man. But very cool. And very insane.

Eurgh. This is a really disgusting job. Still, I only have one bed to do. Oh bugger, Madam Pomfrey is coming.

* * *

Oh. God.

The last bed turned out to hold none other than the love of my life... Harry Potter.

He looked so lovely . His long, dark silky hair; a sharp contrast the white linen he lay upon. His skin was all creamy and his eyelashes were so dark and long. Wasted on a guy really. Girls would kill for eyelashes like that. Sirius was slumped in a chair next to him, fast alseep. Madam Pomfrey must have given him a sleeping draught. He never usually sleeps at all when Harry is ill or injured.

I crept over to him and stared at him for a little while, (Praying nobody would walk in on me at that very moment because I'm sure I looked like a crazy stalker)

Anyway. After that, I bent down and... kissed him. Then I looked up and saw Sirius smiling at me. And I did what anyone in that situation would have done... I ran.

Love Hermione

Xxx

* * *

"Then what?" asked Remus. 

"Then she bent down and kissed him."

Remus's eyes widened comically and he let out a gasp.

"Then..." continued Sirius. "She looked up and saw me. She let out a squeak and ran."

The two friends sat in silence for a moment. Then Remus spoke up: "I wish Harry would have been awake for that. He really likes Hermione."

"Yeah." Sighed Sirius, he turned to look at his sleeping Godson. He frowned, there was something different about him. He looked more alive, he had more colour in his cheeks and: "OH MY GOD! Remus, his finger moved! He's waking up!"

* * *

_It is so cool that Dumbledore got you back into this class – P_

_Hermione..._

_Hermione..._

_HERMIONE!_

_I've been waving this piece of paper in your face for five minutes. Answer me! -P_

Guys. I can't really talk. I have to pay attention. - H

**Come on Hermione. Stop being swotty and write to us. If he finds out we will say that we forced you to do it and put you under the imperious curse. – L**

Yeah. He'll believe that. – H

**Damn straight he will. – L**

Lavender, he's like God. All-knowing and omnipotent and stuff. –H

**Yeah. And about as old as him. – L**

_I wonder what his trouser snake addendum looks like. – P_

PARVATI! – H

**What the hell is a trouser snake addendum? – L**

_It's his... err. His family jewels – P_

**Huh? – L**

His pee-pee – H

**Huh? - L**

_His package – P_

**Huh? – L**

His thingy– H

**Huh? – L**

**_HIS BLOODY DICK! God! How stupid can you be? – P_**

**Lol. I knew what you were talking about. I just wanted to see you squirm! – L**

_Arggh! – P_

Ok. Let's get off the subject of Dumbledore and his manly things – H

**But – L**

SHUT UP! WE WILL NOT SAY ANYMORE! WE WILL NOT SPEAK OF THIS SUBJECT AGAIN! – H

_Ok – P_

**Ok – L**

_I bet it's all wrinkly – P_

SHUT UP! Arggh! Mental images! Mental images! – H

* * *

_Dear Diary _

_I really do love spending time with Parvati and Lavender. They're not airheads, as you might think on first impression. They're genuinally nice people. I mean theyhaven't even shoved their Divination stuff under my nose yet. They don't mention it at all in fact. And I really get on with them. I still can't believe there is only three of us in this dorm, but it's fun now because you can have whichever bed you want and sometimes we push them all together and have huge pillow fights. Great fun!_

_It's strange that we get on so well though. We're all completely different. Like picture the scene in our dorm at the moment. Lavender is styling her hair in the mirror and consulting a Teen Witch magazine, I think she's trying to copy a hairstyle. Parvati is frowning and scribbling something in a notebook. And me, I'm lying on my bed writing this down. I wonder what Parvati's writing. She's – oh wait, now I know. She's planning our sleepover on Saturday and she's asking us what we should do. In fact, let me write our conversation down._

_Parvati: Right, we really do need to start planning this sleepover on Saturday._

_Lavender (mumbling): Yeah... what ever._

_Parvati: Ok, what food do we want?_

_Lavender: ice cream._

_Me: Chocolate._

_Parvati (scribbling that down): What else?_

_Me: Pizza._

_(They both stare at me)_

_Parvati: What the hell is pizza?_

Me: You... you.. You've never tasted pizza? 

_(They shake their heads)_

_Me: Are there any Muggle stores nearby?_

_Parvati: Hermione, Hogsmeade is the only all wizarding town on the country. It's also the only one nearby.Of course there aren't any Muggle stores._

_Lavender: There is one actually. Run by some Muggle-born people up Turnpike Street. My mum used to go there when they were younger._

Me: Well that is sorted then. What else? 

_Lavender: Chips!_

_Me: And crisps._

_Parvati: Ok, so we're having: Pizza, chips, ice cream, chocolate and crisps._

_Me: That sounds about right. We'll see what else we can find when we go shopping._

_Lavender: Just wondering... how are we going to get to Hogsmeade?_

_Me: I have my ways..._

_Parvati (eyebrows raised): Riiigghht... Anyway, what drink?_

_Lavender: Butterbeer. Firewhiskey._

_Me: Firewhiskey? We're not drinking Firewhiskey!_

_Lavender (huffing): Fine._

_Me: How about... lemonade, coca-cola and fruit juices._

_Parvati: Sure._

_Lavender: And hot chocolate and marshmallows!_

_Me: And-_

_Parvati (interrupting): RIGHT! We have enough drink now, we don't want to be going to the toilet all night. What games shall we play?_

_Me: We're picking games? Why are we picking games? Don't you usually just play them as a spur of the moment thing?_

_Parvati (sighing): Fine. Who do we want to invite?_

_Me: Us._

_Lavender: Well done Captain Obvious. We should invite Amelia and her friends... what are they called?... Oh wait... she doesn't have any!_

_Parvati (giggling): Biatch_

_(I seem to have been introduced to the girls world of bitching)_

_Lavender: Anyway, we'll invite Padma._

_Parvati: Do we have to?_

_Me: YES! And invite Ginny._

_Parvati: Who else?_

_Me: I think we should leave it at that... We don't want to invite too many people_

_Lavender: Hermione... We've invited two people!_

_Parvati: No, I think she's right. We'll just keep it with five people._

_Lavender: Spoilsport._

_Me: Oh shut up._

_(Lavender sticks her tongue out at me)_

_I have to go now. Parvati is forcing me to design invitations ("If we're going to have a sleepover, we're going to do it properly") and sort some party games out._

_What a load of rubbish..._

_See ya later Diary!_

_Love Hermione_

_xxxx_

_Dear ...(NAME)..._

_It is our pleasure to inform you that you have been invited to the Gryffindor Girls Sleepover Party on Saturday night. There will be food, sweets, chocolate and other junk that will leave you looking as spotty and fat as hell, but incredibly happy (Though you may also feel slightly ill). It starts at 6:01pm and you will stay all night. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity... If you would like to come, please fill out the following form and send it by owl as quickly as possible._

From

Hermione. J. Granger

_Lavender. R. Brown_

_Parvati. L. Patil._

_I, ......., would love to come to your sleepover party on Saturday night. It sounds great. Hermione is also great. She is really wonderful and so talented. I wish I could be her. Hermione is great, Hermione is fine, Hermione is really, really divine. And Parvati and Lavender are poo. Poo, poo, poo!_

_**

* * *

So. How many people have told us they can come? – H **_

_Everyone can come! It's gonna be great! – P_

**So. When are we gonna get the stuff? – L**

I have a free period tomorrow. Fourth lesson – H

_Oh no. Me and Lav have Divination – P_

Skip it! – H

**What is this? Hermione telling students to skip lessons? The world has gone mad! – L**

Oh ha ha. You're so funny, I forgot to laugh. – H

_Well, technically you did laugh. See, you put "Ha Ha". So you did laugh – P_

Oh for goodness sakes. SHUT UP! – H

**Someone is wearing their ovaries on the outside– L**

Bugger off – H

_Come on 'Mione. Cheer up. Let's plan our sleepover. – P_

Huh... fine. So, we're definitely going to Hogsmeade tomorrow... – H

**Ok. Though I don't really like missing Divination – L**

It's a pile of crap, Lavender – H

**WHAT?! It is NOT! Divination is a great subject and-**

_Oh Hermione. You've started her off on Divination. She won't shut up now. – P_

**It is the best subject in Hogwart's. It is not a pile of crap. It is wonderful and there is so much truth in it and – GIVE ME THAT BLOODY PIECE OF PAPER BACK OTHERWISE I'LL KEEP WRITING ON THIS TABLE AND WRITE NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU! – L**

Ok, ok... Jeez! – H

_Oh bugger. Quick, hide the note. McGonagall is looking this way. – P_

_**

* * *

**_

Dear Diary

I'm sat in my dormitory again. It's all hands on deck to get this sleepover planned. I hope it goes well, my first sleepover ever (Yes I know, "How is it possible in this day and age not to have been to a sleepover?" as Parvati and Lavender keep asking me).

I've been wondering what will happen after this bet is over. I mean, will Harry and Ron just let me suddenly be their friend again, or will things be different? Will I stop talking to Parvati and Lavender?

Argh! It's so frustrating!

Ron wasn't in any lessons today. I think something may have happened to Harry. I hope he's alright.

Anyway... I'm going to go to bed now. I'm bloody tired.

Love Hermione

Xxxx

* * *

Hey People 

Read my Christmassy one-shot fic. It's called Perfect Christmas. Pleeasssee pulls puppy dog eyes

Have a lovely Christmas everyone

PassionFlower

xxxx


	7. Cookie Dough and Other Crap

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#

Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive cristicism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me instead... I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, randomly convenient flying antelope.

* * *

**Authors Note**: Hey everyone! School really is a pile of crap isn't it? My teachers are giving me LOADS of homework which is taking up all my time. So, yeah, so sorry for the lateness. It's nearly the end of this story. By then, I hope I will have got 200 reviews, that will make me very happy and ss of this chapter. 

And one last thing… Our friend MysticalSpirits has written a fic (several actually), ladies and gentlemen, and it rocks my socks! It'll rock YOUR socks too, so lets go get this girl some reviews, shall we?

Oh and.. RAINE IS CRAZY: Thanks for the review… What I meant was that something worse could've happened to Harry. Like he'd died or was near death or something. He could have just slipped into it during the last hour or something.

* * *

_So… when are we skipping – P_

At the end of this lesson. We'll have to go to our dorm first to get our stuff though. And change our clothing. – H

**I still can't believe we're doing this. I mean, skipping a lesson without a legitimate reason. If we get found out, we're dead. Dead. Dead I tell you! DEAD! Deader than the deadiest deadier deadier deady dead. – L**

We're dead. Yeah, we get it. Honestly. We're not gonna get caught. Harry did it all the time and he never did.- H

_Besides, we have a legitimate reason. We have to go shopping. – P_

**Can't we just get the stuff from the kitchens? – L**

No – H

_It's more fun this way. – P_

**Fine. But if we get caught, it's all your fault – L**

We won't get caught – H

_Yeah we – Oh crap. Professor Rose is looking this way. Quick hide the paper – P_

* * *

_Dear Diary_

_Parvati and Lavender sure take a long time to get ready. Jeez. We're only going to Hosmeade and they're putting loads of make-up on. They must have tried on at least ten different outfits! I'm kinda nervous actually. What if we get caught?_

_No. We won't get caught. I know we won't…_

_Oh… time to go diary. They're finally ready. Parvati is wearing… sigh … after all that, she's wearing the outfit she tried on first… I don't think I'll ever understand girls. Jeez, I sound like a boy._

_Love Hermione_

* * *

Hermione picked up the small black book and carefully placed it in her bag. 

"So…" asked Parvati, giving a twirl. "What do you think?"

"Great…" mumbled Hermione without looking. She looked at her clock. "We better be going."

Together, the three girls slowly crept out their dorm. The common room was empty except for the occasional escaped pet, slinking behind the armchairs.

"Ok… the bell went." Hermione looked at her watch. "Five minutes ago. Which means we should go now."

They tip-toed silently, with only the slightest giggle from Lavender, up several staircases and past closed classroom doors. At one point, they'd nearly been caught. They'd been crawling on their hands and knees, when suddenly, from somewhere behind them, they had heard loud footsteps getting closer and closer. They'd immediately jumped up and raced down the corridor, skidded round the corner and flown up the staircase.

Panting and laughing, they leaned for support against the portrait of Flimsa the Forgetful Fairy ("Who are you? Why are you here? Why am I here? … Who am I?")

"Whoo…" gasped Lavender, "That was close!"

"But fun!" said Parvati with a grin. "This is great, I don't know why we don't go skidding about the school all the time. We'd get everywhere a lot quicker!"

Chattering quietly, they stumbled up the stairs to the statue of the one-eyed witch. "Dissendium." Hermione muttered. The other two girls gasped in surprise as the hump opened up to reveal a secret passage. Hermione immediately jumped down, closely followed by Parvati, but they were delayed by Lavender's squeals.

"I can't go down there! This skirt is brand new! That hole is dirty, and who do you think will be cleaning my skirt when it gets dirty? Me! And- EEEKKK!"

Fed up with waiting, Parvati had grabbed her friends ankles and pulled. Hard. Needless to say it was going to take a LOT of cleaning charms to get rid of that dirt…

"Oh my God! My skirt is ruined! You'll pay for this Parvati Claire Patil!"

"Yeah, yeah. Play the old record…"

After a long walk (made even longer by Lavender stopping every few minutes complaining that her shoes were rubbing) they eventually reached the cellar of Honeydukes.

Pulling both her friends up after her (though she was tempted to leave Lavender down there) Hermione then pulled out a crumpled piece of paper with their shopping list. With a nod of her head, she led the other two girls out of the cellar and into the brightly coloured shop that was Honeyduke's.

"Jeez…" moaned Hermione as she slowly made her way up the steep hill. "No wonder nobody has heard of this bloody place, the walk has killed me!"

"We're nearly there now anyway. Just a few more steps."

"Phew!" panted Hermione as she leaned against a wall for support. "That was hard work, should be fun to go back down though. Hey Parv, you ok?"

Parvati nodded in reply before wheezing, "Too much exercise in one day…"

* * *

Dear Diary 

_It's me again, the greatest person in the world. Absolutely shattered. As you know, me, Parvati and Lavender went food shopping today… big mistake. Let me tell you what happened… _

_Lavender: (turns around to stare at the automatically opening doors) I didn't think Muggles used magic.  
_

_Me: (grabs a trolley) They don't. It's got the carpet. When you step on the carpet, the door opens._

_Parvati: How come you get to push the trolley?_

_Me: Because I'm better than you._

_Lavender: No fair. I wanna push the trolley!_

_Parvati: No, I do!_

_Me: No, neither of you are going to push this trolley. You'll probably end up crashing into something._

_Parvati: We won't. We swear!_

_Me: No._

_Lavender: Fine. But I get to pick the items. _

_Me: Fine. How much damage could that cause?_

_Parvati: Do you really have to ask that question?_

_Me: Should I be worried?_

_Parvati: Yes_

_Lavender: No._

_Parvati: Should we stop speaking in questions?_

_Me: Why?_

_Parvati: Argh!_

_Lavender: Heh Heh._

_(We start walking down the aisle and Lavender starts chucking things in the cart)_

_Me: Shopping list! Shopping list!_

_Lavender: Nyeh. (Continues chucking stuff in)_

_Me: Parvati, get out the shopping list._

_Parvati: Got it. Ok, first thing… paper towels. Wouldn't those be hard to dry yourself upon?_

_Me: You don't dry yourself with them. You mop up spills._

_Parvati: It's called sarcasm._

_Me: Really?_

_Parvati: No_

_Me: Give me the list. _

_Parvati: No_

_Me: Give me the bloody list!_

_Lavender (skidding down the aisle): Wheee!_

_Parvati: No. I'm the list girl. You're the trolley girl. Lavender's shoving things in the trolley girl. Therefore, I am list girl._

_Lavender: (Still skidding) Wheeee- Oh sh- (crashes into a display of Charmin)_

_Me: Ok, let's just pretend we don't know her. Just walk away slowly…_

_Lavender: Whoo. I'm ok. Don't worry. I'm ok._

_Me: I am never, ever taking you two out in public again._

_Parvati: What did **I **do?_

_Me: Growl_

_Parvati: Did you just say growl? One doesn't say growl, one just merely growls._

_Me: Shut up. We need to finish the shopping. What's the next thing?_

_Parvati: Pizza. Great! Where will that be?_

_Me: I meant something that is in a nearby aisle._

_Parvati: What's wrong with pizza?_

_Me: Pizza is in the frozen food aisle which is on the other side of the store. Now, do we need any biscuits?_

_Parvati: Why can't we just run around in a disorganised fashion?_

_Me: Because I say so. What's next?_

_Parvati: Chips._

_Me: Argh. Are you deaf, or just stupid?_

_Parvati: What?_

_Me: Ha. You're so funny I forgot to laugh… excluding that first Ha!_

_Parvati: We need popcorn_

_Me: Are you changing the subject?_

_Parvati: No. We need popcorn._

_Lavender: Don't get caramel._

_Parvati: It's pronounced car-mel actually._

_Lavender: Potato. Pah-tato._

_Parvati: Tomato. Tah-mato._

_Me: What are you going to do, break into song?_

_Lavender: We go together like…_

_Me: As I said before. I am never taking you out in public again._

_Lavender: It's just a supermarket._

_Me: Yeah, and that old man by the Snack-A-Jack's keeps staring at us._

_Parvati: That's because he thinks I'm sexy._

_Me: Never speak again._

_Parvati: Do I sense jealousy from little 'Mione? _

_Me: Don't make me kill you in the supermarket._

_Parvati: They'd probably sell me as lunch meat._

_Me: Wonder how much it'd be._

_Lavender: That is mildly disturbing._

_Me: You two started it. I think it would be rather satisfactory to hear you crunch between two slices of wheat._

_Parvati: White._

_Me: Wheat_

_Parvati: White_

_Me: Wheat_

_Parvati: White._

_Me: Wheat._

_Lavender: This is going nowhere. Let's buy more chocolate._

_(The shopping trolley is filled to the brim with chocolate already)_

_Me: I think you've got a little carried away with this buying in bulk thing._

_Lavender: I have not!_

_Me: You've bought twenty packets of Jaffa Cakes. _

_Lavender: So?_

_Me: And ten packets of cookie dough_

_Lavender: I like cookie dough!_

_Me: And five boxes of assorted biscuits_

_Lavender: Mmm, carbs…_

_Me: I give up. Can we go get pizza now? In fact, why am I asking your permission? I have the trolley and the money. _

_(I walk off, putting handfuls of chocolate from my trolley onto the shelf)_

_Lavender: NOOOOO! Not the Animal bars! Anything but the Animal Bars!_

_(She starts putting everything back in)_

_Lavender: Parvati, HELP ME!_

_Parvati (looks at me): No. Hermione looks pissed. I'm not getting in the way of her temper…_

………………

_Me: Ok. We'll get two pepperoni pizza's and-_

_Lavender: Don't like pepperoni_

_Me: Don't care_

_Lavender: Don't like it._

_Me: Do I look bothered?_

_Parvati: Why don't we make our own pizza's?_

_(Me and Lavender look at each other in amazement)_

_Me: Parvati you're a genius!_

_Parvati: Yeah, and then we could have a HUGE pizza fight!_

_Me: Maybe not…_

* * *

_Right. Mr Diary (Or are you a Miss? Or maybe even Mrs? Are you married Diary? What? I can't hear you. Why aren't you talking to me? Wise guy, eh? Well two can play at that game…)_

_I'm not talking to you…_

_You know, before I had you, this diary I mean, nothing embarrassing happened to me. I think you're the cause of all horror._

_Besides, I read an article in the Witch Weekly about diaries. They said young witches who kept diaries turned out to be boring and had a zero percent chance of ever getting married and that witches who kept diaries were actually pathetic and that they should immediately burn their diaries to shreds. _

_Okay, they didn't write it that way, but I think you're the source of all evil. I'm never ever going to write in you again. _

_Goodbye. _

_Have you never heard the English word goodbye? It's what you say when you leave. And that's what I'm doing. I'm going to leave you. _

_I said, goodbye!_

_Go away. I'm going to hide you in my laundry clump._

_Hah! I outsmarted you. _

_Love Hermione_

_P.S. I'm still going to hide you, you know_.


	8. Mates and Marshmallows

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#

Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive cristicism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me instead... I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, randomly convenient flying antelope.

* * *

Ok. Expect Hermione to be slightly OOC. Ok, very OOC. Please don't review and moan about what she does in this chapter, because quite frankly I don't want to hear it.

* * *

At exactly seven the next morning, Parvati woke up and shouted, "COME ON GUYS! PARTY TIME! UP AND AT 'EM!" 

Lavender threw a pillow at her friend, not even bothering to look if it hit her. Hermione pulled her blankets up to her chin, grinned and snuggled deeper into her bed.

Parvati approached the bottom of Lavender's bed and yanked on the covers. Lavender groaned and curled back under her bed sheets. Parvati sighed, "_Accio blankets"_

Bloody hell!" Lavender yelled, immediately waking up. "What time is it?"

"Seven," Parvati answered.

Lavender fell back onto the bed, turned over with her face in her pillow. She screamed, loudly. "One of these days I'm going to wake you up and you're going to hate it."

Sitting up, made a grab for the covers, but it was useless. She moaned. "I sometimes hate you Parvati."

Parvati grinned. "Well as long as you're awake and showered, I don't care."

Parvati frowned at Hermione's bed before walking over to it and prodding Hermione. "Hermione, come on. Wakey, wakey." Hermione swatted grumpily at Parvati, smacking her on the arm. Parvati jumped back and glared. She took a step closer and tried again. This time, Hermione hit her face.

"Ha!" laughed Lavender, who was watching the exchange with amusement. "Serves you right."

"Right." Grumbled Parvati, rolling her sleeves up. She stalked into the bathroom and returned a few seconds later with a cup filled with water.

"Parvati, you can't do that!" cried Lavender.

"Watch me." Frowned Parvati, before promptly tipping the contents of the cup over Hermione's face.

"EEEK!" Hermione spluttered, sitting up abruptly. She turned to glare at her friend. "Parvati. You complete and utter COW!" She angrily threw her pillow at her.

Parvati ducked it with ease. "Yeah well. You needed to get up. A lot has to be done."

"It's the bloody weekend!" cried Hermione, who would sleep until twelve everyday if she had the choice.

"Like I said. Lots of things to be done. Now get up!"

Hermione sighed. "The things I do for you. Honestly, it's the middle of the night!"

The other two girls snorted in amusement. With another sigh, Hermione stood up and made her way to the showers, her friends following close behind her.

* * *

Half an hour later, the three girls were finished with their showers and were either dressing or styling their hair. Hermione was currently sat on the small stool in the bathroom. Outside she heard Parvati and Lavender chatting animatedly about shoes. Hermione grinned and performed a drying spell on her hair. Then she frowned and cast a straightening charm on it as well. She shook her head, liking the look of her new style. She'd had curly hair for as long as she could remember. Straight was a new look, and she liked it very much. 

"Hermione?" called Lavender. "Where are those black shoes that I want to wear?"

"You mean mine?" grinned Hermione, crossing the room to open her trunk. Lavender grinned and nodded. Hermione tossed them to her friend.

"Thanks." She said, putting the shoes on.

"I like the look." Said Parvati, who was rooting through her wardrobe. "Straight suits you."

Hermione grinned and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"Oh, here's your skirt." Parvati called. She chucked the dark maroon skirt at Lavender who smiled gratefully.

Hermione pulled on her shoes and then glanced around. Parvati and Lavender were nearly ready. She leaned against her bed post and waited. And waited. And waited until-

"Ok, we're ready." Announced Parvati. Hermione started out the dorm room and down the stairs, Lavender close behind her. Parvati closed the door as she left, calling for her friends to wait up.

* * *

"Ok…" said Hermione, pouring cereal into a bowl. "Plan of action for today is?" 

"Dunno. We'll just – err, what's that muggle phrase?"

"Go back to bed?" suggested Hermione.

Lavender giggled and grabbed a muffin and shoved it in her mouth. "Too true."

"Eww." Grimaced Parvati. "Do you have to do that? I am eating you know."

Scowling, Parvati turned to stare round the room. Lavender pulled a grotesque face behind her back. Hermione laughed loudly, which she hastily turned into a cough when Parvati glared at her.

"Ok…" said Hermione changing the subject. "Are you finished? Only we have quite a bit to do."

Downing a glass of orange juice and grabbing a few scones, the other two girls followed Hermione out of the hall.

* * *

"Ok…" called Parvati. "Who's got some paper and a pen?" 

Reaching into her bedside table, Hermione dug out a small swirly notebook and a feathered pen.

"Right." Said Parvati, scribbling something down on the notebook. "First thing. We need to push all the bed's together."

"Then." Added Hermione. "Get the food and drink."

"Oooh! And get our pyjamas together."

"Ok." Said Parvati. "Let's get this show on the road!"

* * *

The dorm room, the girls were proud to say, looked amazing. It had taken four long hours but it was worth it. All the beds had been pushed together and pushed to the back of the room, so in the end it looked like one massive bed covered in crisps and chocolate. Hermione had charmed the ceiling to look like a night sky with comets and twinkling stars. Coloured drapes were hung from the ceiling to the disguise the mess their bedroom usually was. 

"Ooh." Cooed Lavender. "It looks amazing. Can't we keep it like this all the time?"

Hermione snorted. "There's no way I'd want to sleep in the same bed as you Lav, you snore so loudly!"

"I do not! Tell her Parvati!"

Parvati grinned sheepishly. "Err, actually… you do snore. Very loudly in fact, it's very distracting."

Lavender scoffed. "As if, I have never snored in my life!"

"Whatever."

* * *

"Right." Said Parvati from the armchair she was lounging in. "I suppose I better go fetch Padma." 

She stood up and stretched. "I'll see you two upstairs." And off she went.

Lavender squealed. "Oh! I am SO excited! Let's go up!"

Hermione nodded and made her way towards her dormitory. "Ginny." She called across the room. "You coming up."

Ginny nodded happily and stuffed a piece of parchment into her bag. "Sure. I'll meet you up there. I've just gotta get my stuff."

* * *

"What are you _wearing _Ginny?" giggled Lavender, pulling on her pyjama bottoms. 

"My birthday present from Dean." She replied, giving her friends an exaggerated twirl. "Gorgeous isn't it?"

Parvati's eyes widened. "He bought you _that_! I went out for him for THREE months and I didn't get one present! You've only been seeing him for two weeks! That's unfair!"

Giggling the five girls finished changing into their pyjamas (or short, short nighties in Ginny's case…). Then they all plonked themselves on the bed and set about eating the mountain load of chocolate that was heaped on the bed.

"… and everyone kept staring at me."

"Didn't that strike you as odd?" asked Hermione, helping herself to another chocolate éclair.

Padma giggled. "Well no. I just thought that they were looking at me because I looked really pretty. But anyway, eventually this old woman pointed out my skirt was tucked into my underwear! I was SO embarrassed."

"Hold on, hold _on_! Why is everyone wittering on about old women and underwear." Parvati frowned at them all. "I thought this was supposed to be a fun sleepover!"

"So if you're not interested in talking about embarrassing moments." Asked Lavender pointedly, grabbing a handful of popcorn. "What do you want to talk about?"

Parvati gathered her long, skinny legs under her and widened her eyes at them. "Ghost stories! That's what we're going to do! Tell _ghost _stories!"

"Yeah? And I guess you happen to have a good ghost story, do you?" Padma smirked at Parvati, as she helped herself to another fun-size Snickers.

"Course I do!" Parvati smirked back. "Are you ready? Is everyone sitting comfortably?"

As she said that, Hermione noticed Lavender sinking deeper into the large blanket she'd wrapped around herself.

"Get on with it!" teased Ginny, pinging a Wotsit at her head. "And this _better _be scary!"

"Oh it is!" beamed Parvati, picking the Wotsit out of her hair and flicking it back at Ginny. "Because it's a true story."

"Oh yeah?" Padma widened her eyes at her sister. "And how do you know that?"

"I just do." Replied Parvati in a husky voice, as she dimmed the lights slightly, casting eerie shadows across the wall. "Now do you all promise to shut up while I tell this?"

Everyone grunted and squeaked "Yes", depending on how reluctant/scared they were to hear Parvati's ghost story.

"Ok." Parvati began, once everyone was silent. "There was this teenage couple, right, and they lived in this tiny village that was, like, in the middle of nowhere. So anyway, one night they took their parents car and-"

"What's a car?" frowned Lavender.

"It's a box on wheels or something." Explained Ginny. "Dad enchanted one once and it-"

"RIGHT!" butted in Parvati, trying to get everyone's attention back. "So anyway, after the disco-"

"What disco?" interrupted Padma.

"Just one that they decided to go to."

"But you didn't say they were going to a disco."

"It doesn't matter." Said Parvati through gritted teeth. "So, they're driving home, only there's this huge storm, and the main road to their town is blocked off."

"By what?" piped up Hermione. "A tree or something?"

"I don't know what!" said Parvati irritably. "That's not important!"

"Ok…" Hermione replied in a tiny, chastened voice.

"So the road was blocked by _something, _and they had to take a side road through these _daaaaaaarrkkkk wooooooddddssss_…and then –blam! – Their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and they don't know what to do!"

"Couldn't they have apparated away?" Padma suggested.

"They're _muggles_!" snapped Parvati. "So they've broken down, right? And the guy says to the girl 'You stay here – I'll walk back up the main road and get help.' And so he goes, and the girl waits for ages and ages, and then –_thump _– something bangs on the roof of the car."

Hermione glanced around quickly at her friends and saw that Lavender had practically disappeared into her pink blanket.

"And then she hears it again!" Parvati went on, wild-eyed and acting out the thump-thump with her hand on the mattress. "_Thump-thump-thump! _And she doesn't know what it could be, but-"

"But," Ginny interrupts, lazily helping herself to more nibbles. "It turns out to be the head of her boyfriend that some maniac in the woods has cut off."

Parvati pursed her lips and stared blackly at Ginny for ruining her scary story.

"What?" Ginny shrugged. "I heard that _years _ago when I was little! Fred and George used to try and creep me out!"

Ok, so Parvati's true story might not have been so true (It was just one of those freaky yarns people like to pass around), but it had still cast a certain black mood over everyone in the room, that funny stories about underwear certainly hadn't.

"So…" said Hermione brightly. "Who's up for pizza?"

"What's pizza?" asked Ginny, wrinkling her nose.

"This is pizza." Hermione declared, shoving one of the boxes under Ginny's nose.

"Looks nice." Commented Padma. "What's on it?"

"Well it's cheese and tomato but you can add your own toppings."

Ginny studied the box as Hermione heated the pizza with her wand. "What's the bottom thing made of?"

"Bread." Replied Hermione.

"How do you eat it?" asked Parvati.

"You cut it into slices and eat it with your hands." Answered Hermione.

"Yeah silly." Said Lavender before ramming the pizza cutter into Parvati's arm.

"Ow!" yelled Parvati, rubbing her arm. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"Lavender, don't mess with the pizza cutter." Smirked Hermione, taking the sharp object off her.

"Yes mum. I wasn't messing with it!"

Hermione tutted and Parvati frowned. "Yeah, you were maiming me with it!"

Within a few minutes, everyone had been handed a plate and a slice of pizza. They were now fighting over which topping they were going to have.

"Lavender! You are such a pig! You've taken all the bloody pepperoni!"

"And?"

"And? AND! You said you didn't like pepperoni!"

Lavender shrugged. "Do now."

Once everyone had finished, Padma smirked and rubbed her hands together. "Ok everyone. It's time to play truth or dare!"

* * *

"Hermione!" Parvati shrieked. She ducked behind the bed as Hermione fired another hex at her and then jumped up again once it was safe. "I didn't mean to drop the bag!" 

"What were you two doing!" Hermione shot a glare in Padma's direction who was hiding behind the bed too. "Do you realize that you could have gotten into a lot of trouble if a professor had seen you with alcohol? Why the hell did you have alcohol anyway?"

"We only went down the hall!" Padma shouted. "We didn't think that anyone would be coming along so late at night!"

"What happened?" Ginny asked She had been waiting in the dormitory with Lavender for the twins and Hermione to finish doing their dares, when the twins, alcohol and lemons in their arms, had come running into the room with looks of amusement on their faces. They spent the better part of ten minutes staring dumbly at each other before Hermione came into the room and began firing hexes.

"Well after I stole Snape's underwear, I was walking down the corridor when Professor Lupin suddenly appeared next to me. It's then that I notice those two, walking down the hall, not even attempting to hide the alcohol. I had to try and distract Lupin-"

"Well, it worked!" Parvati stated, as if that made the situation better. When Hermione glared at her once again she ducked back behind the couch.

"I don't see the problem," Lavender said.

"You two can come out now," Ginny said. "Hermione's put her wand away."

The twins peeped over the mattress, confirming that Hermione had actually put her wand away. There was dead silence before Padma exchanged a look with Parvati, one not missed by the others.

"So, come on you guys… then what happened?" Ginny asked.

"When Hermione first started distracting Lupin." explained Padma, struggling to keep a straight face. "I dropped the bag of lemons _by accident_. Anyway, Lupin started to turn around to see what had made the noise when Hermione suddenly shouts 'I stole Snape's underwear'…" it was a this point that Padma found she could not continue because she was laughing too hard.

"Then Lupin turned to stare at her. Then tried to turn around to see what had made the noise" continued Parvati with a giggle. "So she unzipped the bag and pulled some of Snape's underwear out-"

"And she rammed it on his head!" shrieked Padma before howling with laughter.

"Are you _serious_?" Lavender asked. Her jaw dropped as she looked back at her friend. "But…Hermione, he's a professor."

"I know!" Hermione shouted. She stood up and began to pace back and forth. "I can't believe I did it! I'm going to get into so much trouble!"

"Don't worry Hermione. You won't get that told off. I mean, Professor Lupin likes you."

Hermione smiled at Ginny's attempt to cheer her up. "Come on guys, I need to seriously get drunk."

The other girls widened their eyes in surprise. "Hermione." Gasped Parvati. "You don't drink!"

Hermione grinned nervously. " Yeah well, tonight has just sucked beyond redemption."

"Shall we play 'I never' then?" Parvati asked. The others agreed and sat around the small table in the common room. They put out the lemons, salt, tequila and shot glasses.

"Hermione, want to start?" Padma offered.

"Hell yes," Hermione breathed. She bit her lip nervously before saying, "I never… cheated on a test."

All of the girls (except Hermione) licked the salt off their wrists, downed the shot and then bit the lemon. They grimaced and then Lavender continued. "I never… rammed underwear on my teacher's head."

"You are such a bitch, Lav." Hermione replied. Still, she smiled and took the shot happily. _Yes_, she thought, _alcohol makes any situation look a _little _better_.

* * *

It was three in the morning and the sleepover was finally winding down (after several of their fellow Gryffindor's came into complain). 

"The secret to making the best, most perfect hot chocolate," Parvati declared as Hermione slowly poured hot chocolate into the five mugs. "Is to put these little marshmallows in the cup first,"

"So the chocolate brings out the flavour?" asked Padma

"No," answered Parvati

"So they absorb the chocolate better?" asked Hermione.

"No," answered Parvati

"So they melt faster?" asked Ginny

"No," grinned Parvati. "So you can fit at least forty of fifty of them in,"

Lavender laughed "I wondered why you always ate it with a fork,"

* * *


	9. Of Happily Ever After

Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#

Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive cristicism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me instead... I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, randomly convenient flying antelope.

* * *

**Chapter Ten – Of The Happily Ever After** (_Or: This Chapter Was A Bugger to Write and You Better Be Grateful For It! Which I feel is probably a more appropriate chapter title)_

* * *

Sunday dawned, and brought with it the inevitable result of a warm-weathered week in Scotland, namely, a rainy weekend. Hermione could hear it tapping on the thin window above his head. The dull light from outside projected the shape of the window onto the door in front of him and he watched the progress of the raindrops' shadows trickling down the glass.

The other girls had dropped off to sleep sometime after three in the morning. Hermione, however, had spent the rest of the night, watching the moon's window-shaped light drift gradually from one side of the door to the other.

She wasn't tired. She was drained, but it was different from anything she'd ever felt before. It was as if her body desperately needed to sleep, but her mind had blocked out the need completely. It was like painting over a wet plank of wood, it looked all right, but it would still rot. Everything from the past week seemed to have caught up with her at last.

She felt somebody tap her shoulder. "'Mione? 'Mione? Are you awake?"

"No."

The voice (which she now recognised as Lavender's) paused momentarily. "Oh, ok." Another pause. "Hey! How can you be asleep if you're talking to me?"

Another voice, Parvati's voice. "Oi! Will you two shut up? Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"Sorry." The rustling of covers. Another pause then a sigh. "I can't sleep now."

"What time is it?" Ginny muttered from somewhere under her pillow. She lifted her head up and winced at the light flooding from the window. "Eurgh. Close the curtains."

"They are closed." Replied Lavender.

Hermione sat up and looked down at her friends. Lavender was now also sat out and running a brush through her hair moaning about knots and fizzy pop. Ginny's head was quite literally a ball of red fuzz (And no I don't mean that she's turned into a monkey overnight…). Parvati was smacking her head repeatedly on the pillow, which was making Padma bounce up and down on the pillow (Yet she still didn't wake up).

"Ok." Said Hermione with a yawn. "I'm going to get dressed."

* * *

By nine, all five girls were washed and dressed and were attempting to return the room to it's normal state, which was proving trickier than they'd first thought.

"No. That bed was over _there_!" called Hermione as she lifted up a small table and carried it to the corner of the room.

"I'd like to see you try and carry one of these beds. They weigh a ton." Grunted Lavender. Hermione watched her friends with amusement. Parvati and Padma were trying to move to beds at a time and it looked like Parvati wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer…

CLANG

Yep. Definitely didn't hold on for much longer.

"Ow! Ow! OOOWW!" Padma shrieked, hopping up and down and clutching her toe. "I think it's broken!"

"No it isn't." said Hermione quickly. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

Parvati and Padma exchanged a look. "Umm, yeah. Well we, err…" began Parvati awkwardly.

"Um… yeah," continued Padma. "I think I better get it check out anyway… You just in case-"

"She's really hurt herself. I better go with her." Finished Parvati. Padma stood up and began limping towards the door. Parvati coughed loudly. "Because I'm sure she won't be able to walk."

Then the two twins limped/walked hurriedly out of the room.

"Great." Sighed Hermione. "Ok. One, two, three- LIFT!"

* * *

An hour later, the three girls walked out the portrait hole chatting excitedly about the sleepover.

"So, Professor Lupin hasn't said anything yet." Said Ginny, pushing open the portrait hole. "So I don-" she petered off.

"What's wrong?" asked Lavender. She looked past Ginny's shoulder and froze.

"Umm, guys? Go!" said Hermione. "What are you- oh."

The two girls moved away from the hole, huge smiles on their faces. Hermione soon discovered why; Harry Potter was stood outside.

"Hey." He said, holding up a stack of toast, which he was carrying in a napkin. "I brought you this… want to go for a walk?"

Hermione's face lit up. Those were the exact words she said to Harry two years ago. "Good idea."

They both smiled shyly at each other and made their way downstairs, across the entrance hall and were soon strolling towards the lake. The rain had stopped, leaving everything wet. The grass made squelching noises beneath their feet, not exactly the most romantic sound Hermione thought to herself.

"Toast?" asked Harry, pushing the toast filled napkin toward her.

"Thanks." Hermione replied gratefully. "So… what have you been up to?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm not really that active when I'm in a coma. I'm a bit of a bore really."

Hermione smiled and let out a giggle. Harry gasped in mock-horror. "Did you just _giggle_?"

Squeaking with embarrassment, she slapped a hand over her mouth. "No!"

"You did!" said Harry with a grin. "I've never heard you giggle before."

"I did not giggle!"

"You did."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did not"

"Did too an- Argh!" Hermione threw her hands up in frustration. "Every time!"

The two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Hermione couldn't believe how perfect everything was.

"Um Harry..." Hermione started and noting her voice was a little higher then usual she cleared it, opening her mouth to say something but then found the words were stuck in her throat. Harry cocked his head curiously at her.

"Are you ok?" he said and after taking a deep breath she nodded.

Hermione reached forward and looked as though she was about to hold his hand but didn't, instead she settled for putting it on the floor. She licked his lips nervously and looked up, concentrating solely on the unusual colour of Harry's eyes so as not to lose her nerve.

"I like you," she managed finally, "A lot..."

"Oh…" said Harry. He looked down at the ground. Then he looked up and smiled. "Well that's good… because I think I might like you too." Then very slowly, he leaned in to kiss her.

Hermione felt like there was a swing band playing her chest. It was more perfect than she could ever have imagined. They pulled apart and smiled goofily at each other.

"Hermione?" asked Harry. "You know, Professor Lupin was saying the strangest things about you this morning…"

Hermione swallowed nervously. "Err. Really?"

Harry nodded. "Yep. Something about Snape's underwear and you putting underwear on his head… Do you know anything about it?"

Hermione bit her lip. "Um, no."

Harry grinned. "I believe you." Then he kissed her again.

* * *

The two teenagers hurriedly made their way over to the table where (To Hermione's surprise) Ron was sat with Parvati and Lavender.

"Glad you decided to join us… I was beginning to think that you weren't coming." Said Parvati. "What _did _you get up to?"

Hermione smiled sheepishly. "Nothing."

"Then why…" said Ron, reaching up and pulling a bit of grass out of her hair. "Is Harry's mouth covered in lip gloss?"

Harry and Hermione looked and each other and laughed. "Ok." Said Harry. "You caught us out…"

"So you're going out?" asked Lavender.

They both nodded and the two girls let out squeals of delight.

Ron picked up his drink and raised it. "To happy endings." He said happily. Smiling the other four also lifted up their glasses.

"To happy endings." They chorused and to Hermione, this was certainly hers.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

Ladies and Jelly Spoons

I cannot believe it is finally over. I cannot BELIEVE it! Excuse me while I start hyperventilating.

I'm finally _free-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!_ Free! Free! Free to pursue other stories and interests! Aw, what a marvellous feeling.

I just want to say a H-U-U-U-U-G-E thank to everyone who reviewed. Without you I would be reviewless and this story probably wouldn't even exist.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!


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